Six Most Embarassing Words
By EvangelismCoach
Do you want to know what the Six Most Embarrassing words a greeter can say?
Watch this 4 minute video and I’ll tell you what I learned
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Then add your thoughts or experience below.
I’d like to hear from you. More video tips will be coming in a few days and I’ll announce them via email.
Hey Chris, great advice! Nothing like not remembering one of your congregation to start a Sunday morning morning off on the wrong foot! Yikes!
I often look for the “wandering eyes”, you know when they come through the doors and give the lobby the once over, not really sure what to next. Then I will approach them and simply say “Good Morning, welcome to Dunwoody Community Church.” They’ll either engage at that point or move on, but they have been warmly greeeted.
Thanks for all you do. Looking forward to more videos.
Joe
Certified Guerrilla Marketing Coach
As always, your thoughts and experience are right on target, especially in this area. It’s important to for us to understand how insensitive we might come across when mean well and are simply trying to ascertain who a person is. In our church, where we don’t get too many visitors, there’s an easy tendency to pounce on the new folks (or “fresh meat”). I’m looking forward to the next video, and at some point sharing this collection with our Deacons (who comprise the role of Greeters on Sunday mornings.) Blessings on your continuing ministry!
Great video, Chris. I recall the content from your book but being an visual and auditory learner it helps to hear it and see you as you present it. I’ve served as a greeter recently and put it into practice. Your suggestion is good but has also proved embaressing as I’ve forgotten names of those who remember me… lol. Looking forward to more videos and passing this along to others.
Introducing oneself to the person walking in the door, whether guest or me4mber, is extremely important. “Good Morning, it’s nice to see you today.” is a good greeting also.
Your substitute greeting is also a good one especially if you do not recognize the person.
ALSO I think it is important that the same greeting NOT be used every Sunday with each person walking in the door. It could become very insincere sounding.
It dawned on me this morning:
Wal-Mart greeters have never asked me this question.
Bea: great point — vary it. I think we need to give greeters permission to add their own personality.
Thanks for the video.
Welcome! I’m Rob Morrison. We’re glad to have you here.
Keep it simple. The more pressure on the greeter, the more anxiety and uneasiness will be communicated.
Chris, With your line, you better remember everyone that you have met. If you met someone but didn’t remember that person, you have made an even bigger faut pas by saying that “you didn’t believe you had met”. Why not just say your name and welcome or nice to see you. Why take a chance.
Bruce:
Good point.
I think in a large church, that may very well be the case.
You and Rob both have suggested a good addition to a possible list of “opening lines.”
Chris.
Thanks for coming out with this. I’m in charge of greeters and am finding it had to recruit people. Also, I’m not quite sure what kind of role they should have in the church. It seems that just standing at the door and saying hi is insincere and boring. Looking forward to your videos!
Nicole
Thank you for this video. We are in the process of “tweeking” our Hospitality Team. I look forward to hearing what has worked for others.
Chris,
I appreciate all of the positive comments and feedback you have received so far, but I would like to share some thoughts from a different perspective.
I can fully empathize with you in the example you shared in the video. However, after 35 years in church work, I have found that there will always be some who are easily offended, no matter what you say. The lady in your illustration demonstrates the same spirit of the person who is offended when a visitor sits in “their” seat. It was your first church and you got “shot down” by a sister who should have been more mature and understanding. Her immaturity and easily offended feelings make her a poor candidate to be the deciding force in altering how to greet people you don’t know. I’m sure she did make you feel embarrassed, but that doesn’t mean you should avoid asking what I think is a very important question. In our church, we make a concerted effort to identify first time guests to make sure we can anticipate their needs (nursery, classes, restrooms, directions to the sanctuary, etc.). Not only that, but we have a special information folder with a gift specially prepared for first time guests. In a church of 750-800, our greeters often have to ask “Is this your first time here?” in order to identify these folks. Yes, sometimes we approach long-time members or regular visitors, but we rarely encounter someone with the attitude you described. I would hesitate to let this negative experience keep you from intentionally finding and engaging the first time guest. For every negative experience by an immature and “touchy” member, there will be scores of positive experiences by first time guests who appreciated being noticed and assisted.
I give great credit to the greeter who first welcomed me to what became my home church. She began by looking me in the eye and introducing herself to me and to my then 3 year old son. She squatted down to speak to my son and told him, “Have your Mom sit over by the windows. If you want to you can sit on the floor and watch the squirrels play in the trees outside.” Then she stood back up and said to me, “We love having the children join us for worship, however, if you would prefer we do have a nursery which you are welcome to make use of. Would you like me to show you where it is located?”
I had visited churches in the area that made it very clear that children were not welcome in the sanctuary. For me, that was not an option. I will never forget how welcome I felt knowing that my son was also welcome!
I am lucky that I go to Cosmopolitan United Church of Christ in Carrollton, Texas where everybody knows
every one so we recognize a visitor right away.
Our greeting is “Good morning. Welcome to our church.” Then we proceed to introduce ourselves.
I will never use “Hi, my name is —. I have not met you yet” It comes across as you are very important and the other person less important.
I’ll wait till the other person says his name.
@ Nick:
Thanks for sharing your reaction to this substitution.
I think what I’ll do is compile a list of possible phrases to help avoid the kind of embarrassment I caused.
@ Ann:
A great reminder to all of us about making sure that some of our greeting practices include children.
@ Michael:
In your large church, have your greeters noticed that some people might volunteer that information without having to be asked? “I’ve not met you yet” will often be responded to “I’m here for the first time.”
Thanks all for the conversation. Keep it up.
I haven’t been an “official” greeter in the churches I’ve been involved with, but I have made it a point to welcome new people to the church. I came up with a twist on your phrase, Chris, that’s worked quite well for me. I simply go up to the person(s) and say, “Hi, I don’t believe I’ve met you before, have I?” That gives them permission to tell me what their status is. They can correct me if I *have* met them previously (and I’ve never hsd anyone do that who wasn’t gracious about it), or they can tell me that they are newcomers. In any case, it empowers them to give me as much or as little information as they want, and I can gauge from their response if there’s anything I can do to help them be more comfortable.
I’m working on training for greeters for our church and have gotten a lot of tips just from this segment. Looking forward to more helpful.
Thanks much.
It really seems to depend on the size of the congregation as to how you would approach people. What seems appropriate for a church of 100 may not be appropriate for a church of 1000. On the other side of that encouraging your greeters to pray before each church service may help them with using wisdom for each individual.Good information and good diverse comments.
I agree with your assessment of those words. I like to say to people who I don’t know or who I can’t remember: “Hi, I’m Pastor Hill, have I met you before?” If the person has met me before, they remind me. Then, if they don’t say their name, I just respond, “and what’s your name?” Then I will repeat it to make sure I heard it correctly or ask “how do you spell that?” (if it isn’t a name like “Bob.” Most people appreciate the effort I make to remember their name. If possible, I will also try to immediately introduce the person to someone standing nearby.
I like Micheal’s response from a larger church. If you have more than one service it is hard to know if a person is new or been there for some time. We are trying to improve our guest service ministry and appreciate all your comments. We are starting a training program for all greeters and look forward to the next videos. I’m sure we can use them in our training. Thanks so much and please remember this is all about reaching the lost.
Our biggest embarrassment is when the greeter did not notice that the person they just greeted was here last week.
We may have a different person each Sunday for the month.
I agree 100% with Chris’ six most embarrassing words. I have made that mistake on more than one occasion. Generally, I now greet folks who look familiar but on whom I cannot pin a name with, “Good morning, I don’t recall if we have met, but my name is…..” That leaves the door open for “grace” whether or not I have met the person previously.
I have recently assumed responsibility for our church’s assimilation process as part of our care ministries, so I am looking forward to learning from the experience and expertise of others. Thanks!
I just listened to the first video, with curiosity about those six dreaded words. And then I gave myself a “high five” when I realized your “dreaded” words and the alternative suggested question were exactly what I’ve been telling our greeters who keep complaining that greeting could be embarrassing. Every time, they had been using your dreaded words and every time I give them “OUR” alternate question. Thanks! I’m the church administrator with a passion for doing greeting well and have recently been given oversight of getting us going in the right direction with training new recruits and encouraging them in the importance of this ministry. So I’m looking forward to your other videos.
The phrase we have told our greeters to memorize is “how long have you been attending here?” Instead of “is this your first time”
I made the same mistake when I asked a member if this was her first time visiting. She told me “no, I’ve been a member for quite sometime now and i sit on the back pew of the church. I was too embrassed to say anything to her except apoligize. Now i pay close attention to everyone that enters the church. Thanks for the video
Also, consider taking the entire conversation down a different road and start with a sincere “Good morning! How are you today?” or “Hey there! It is good to see you tonight!” This way there is no need to bring up whether or not they have attended once, or twenty years, because as you continue the conversation chances are the person will supply all the information you wanted to know such as if this is new to them, if they need something, etc. Then be sure to ask, “So . . . is there anything I can do for you?” In other words, just make the conversation real.
For people who can remember faces but not names, BE SURE to relate their face to someone else you know by name so that when you see them next time you’ll remember them. Then when you see them next time be honest and tell them you are bad at remembering names and ask them if they wouldn’t mind telling you their name again. If you’re honest with them about forgetting names, chances are they will appreciate your honesty and that you actually remembered them by face. It also tells them that you’re human and makes them feel welcome in a place where not everyone pretends to be perfect.
Honesty always works. Just a thought because it works VERY well for me. It may not work for everyone.
When I see someone coming in that I don’t know, I usually say, “Hi, I’m Don. I have a terrible memory, but have we met before?”
This video is great. Thanks for the tip. I look forward to the remaining videos.
hi chris i have just been elected head usher am very excited and nervous am very much interested in learning so thanks for the videos
hi! Nice video, looking forward to the next video materials…Thanks a lot
Hi Chris,
I’m getting ready to host a training meeting. I love your website and your heart to share training with others. I’m excited!. We use the same phrase you recommended. You are right on point that what we say could be the factor of someone’s decision to come back or not come back. Can’t wait for the next video. Thank you very much.
Is there a way to download the video to show in a group training session?
Hi Chris,
Very appropriate. same question as Dr. Mike pearson…is there a way to download the video to show to a group training/motivation session?
when will more videos be available and how can we obtain them?
thanks,
Bill
Chris, I think the six worsds are even more embarrassing after you have been at the church awhile! After four years in my present congregation, I asked something similar, only to discover this was the senior pastor’s Mother!
I too would like to be able to use these for my usher/greeter teams.
Dr. McClain,
You gave me a great laugh this morning.
Thanks!
This has really got me thinking on how i address first timers. Thanks
Happened to me before. The member gracefully corrected me though. Will not allow that to happen again. Can be embarrassing.
Thank you Chris for those words, I am Debra and I am an Evangelist in training, in other words I am on a mission for God. We all were bought with a price, a purpose to fulfill. My goal, my desire is to please God!! To win souls for Christ!! And to faith to Jesus until death!! I write poetry for the Lord, I call them words of inspiration!! So I am looking forward to learning a better way of greeting people from you my brother Chris!! God Bless you!!